


The Drawbacks of Friendship

by ChaoticDemon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen, Marauders' Era, The Marauders are horrible friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-01
Updated: 2010-02-01
Packaged: 2017-11-15 22:37:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/532545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticDemon/pseuds/ChaoticDemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On a date with Lily, James reconsiders his friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Drawbacks of Friendship

James fidgeted and fought the urge to run his hands through his hair. Across from him, Lily scooped some confetti out of her tea with a fork. However, as soon as she'd managed to remove the heart-shaped paper, more managed to infiltrate her beverage. Snorting in disgust, she shoved the drink away from her and glared at the table. The date wasn't going quite as well as James had hoped.

Desperate for ideas, he glanced around the restaurant. Unfortunately, by this point almost every other couple was snogging, and the few that weren't were in desperate need of a room. If his years of reconnaissance (or stalking, as his friends lovingly put it)had taught him anything about Evans, it was that he was a long way from any sort of physical contact that didn't involve pain on his end.

The chime above the front door sounded and he absently looked up, only to inhale so sharply he had to cough. What were  _they_  doing here? They'd promised not to be here!

Sure enough, Remus, with Wormtail on his shoulder and Padfoot on his heels, was being led to a table by a very confused maître d'. Of course, the only empty table was situated just behind Lily, who was still so intent on visually sharing her misery with the table that she had yet to notice the remaining Marauders.

"My canine friend here would like the steak," James heard Remus say as Padfoot barked in agreement, "and the rat will have the cheese platter." Wormtail squeaked happily from his place on the table. "I will have the ladyfingers." Here, the dog let out a bark that sounded suspiciously like a laugh. The werewolf merely smacked Padfoot on the head with the menu before handing it to the bemused waiter.

Suddenly, Remus met his incredulous gaze and waved cheekily. Wormtail sat up on his hind legs and chattered away. Padfoot jumped up onto his table's extra chair and wagged his tail wildly, tongue lolling out of one side of his mouth.

He was going to kill them, James decided. He was going to kill them dead.

By the time his "friends" had received their food, Evans was no closer to quitting her staring match with the table and glitter had started falling alongside the confetti; glitter which he would be finding in the strangest of places for weeks to come. James sighed and signaled for the bill. Next time he had a date, he was taking her to the Hogwarts kitchens. He'd also have to make sure his roommates managed to get detention.


End file.
